Bakit Bev?

Bakit/why? Why blog about my Filipina-American experience? I think my response might come out a bit Catch 22-ish because in order for me to really answer why I'm blogging, I have to blog. Michelle, hit the spot though when she said, "What does that mean anyway?" What is this about being Fil-Am? That's what I'm here to muse about and just a heads up but I muse in abstract.

As a 1.5 generation immigrant, I've always felt in limbo. I know, "limbo" has a lot of connotations but the one I'm tinkering with here is the feeling of being in between: in between where, when, and who.

In between where? I was born in the Philippines and came over Stateside when I was seven. I've never really felt like I was a citizen or belonged to either chunks of land but my papers said different. Up until I was in my early 20s I was a citizen of the Philippines, then after some paperwork, *poof* I am now a citizen of the U.S. It was seamless on paper but the feeling of being in between two places stays with me.

In between when? Seven years old seems like such a long time ago. Yet at the same time it seems like only yesterday because I can still hear the jeepneys passing by and I can still smell the palengkes/public markets of the streets of Olongapo. The memories of my short time in the Philippines are sometimes more clear than my memories of growing up in California. Yes, after a certain age my memories of here are more concrete but I always wonder why those early years seem like a blur. I wonder why even though I've spent most of my adult life here, I refer to my childhood there so much more.

In between who? I've been blessed with a wonderful family and true friends. One would think I would stay put being so lucky but I find myself being a nomad. Is it because I'm eclectic (nice word for indecisive) and I tend to float around? Not too sure about it myself but no matter how close I am to a bunch of folks, I've always felt like the odd ball. Could just be a case of the "teens" though but I figure I would be over that by now right?

So why bring this whole limbo business up?

I blog here, about my Fil-Am experiences, and with these two badass Fil-Am women because it situates me and the limbo butterflies in my tummy ease up. This blog is a space where three Fil-Ams, with totally different backgrounds connect on some not-easily-explained level. It's not easily explained but it's there and if we can spread this funky (in a good way) connection, then why not?

Hope you'll keep coming back to connect with us.